On this day two years ago, we were celebrating your nana's birthday with pizza and family.
Twenty-two days later, after you lived your entire life and left us throbbing in brokenness, I sat in a department store dressing room, staring blankly at a selection of funeral dresses and layette sets for the display of your body in the casket.
I still cannot reconcile the before and the after, what happened to you in between those days.
In between the New Years Eve birthday celebration and the dressing room scene, I lived a whole other life with you. I think it must have been the most important and meaningful living I've ever done. And now, it's over and done.
I hope you knew and felt my love, Zachary. It means everything to me.
This day will forever punctuate the beginning of so much fear, then pure joy and elation at your birth and health, and finally, a reprehensible series of errors that robbed you of your entire future. I'm so sorry.